I dreamed of snow flakes ,foot note all night long. I was yelling in my sleep as if I were prosecuted. I turn on my tv, and there on the news I saw Borko’s laughter ,and laughter of Tahiri’s and Tadic is laughing too. Tadic even made it to the Belgrade’s Film Festival on premier .
Clinton’s cheated wife praises us. Brussels praise us,Josipovic of Croatia says “well done”, Kosor sends kisses.
I turned off my TV. I pulled my curtains. I just turned on film, to relax, but there he is! Some crazy Serb attacking poor citizens of New York, just because he is born as a slayer . The director of the film didn’t say that U.S.A. just bombed Serb’s country, but there it is a beautiful young blond Albanian girl, who teaches the leading character ,a little bit of “history” of brave Illyrian tribes and Serbian slayers who were eating children …. I turned off the film.
I went out. Empty streets. Orahovac is bored . In all stores there are Albanian goods. The talk, that was going on in the store ,was about one family in Orahovac,who was discouraged by this yesterday’s Borko’s ” victory” , is considering selling the house….
I felt great rage! But who am I to judge them? People just can’t stand this any more.They are not so strong mentally .
I went back to my house. I trick myself and turn on my TV again.There on TV ,Jelena Jankovic,our tennis player loses the match ,and blue line above her is telling us the news, hunting me with Borko’s “victory” ,asymmetry, reciprocity…I’m stupid for that “high politics” but when I see smiling Tahiri, I can not laugh too. I know that me and her we can not rejoice in the same day …
I changed the channel ,and there was some Turkish series ..about some guy Ali Riza,who might die in this episode ,and might not..but we are all waiting …and than the electricity was off.
I laid down and covered my head with a blanket and stared to pray on my rosary “Our Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on my sinful soul ” … thank God the power goes out every now and then, so I can run away and find rest from smiling faces of the winners who haunt me.